There's A Wizard in my Pocket

And I want to choke him. There's no other way to explain it really. There's a Wizard in my pocket and he likes to turn my headphones into a labyrinth. It takes me a maximum of 3 minutes to get this shit figured out. The winter wind lashes my face, my coffee starts to get cool and my cigarette sticks to my lip. All while I untangle these vexing, skimpy headphone wires. While I sleep he has visions in his crystal ball of how to fuck up my morning. This is why the first half hour of my work day is usually screwface.