Mar 31, 2011

3 Reasons Why Tim Horton's is the Devil

Reason #1: They Starve Children
Timmy's outlets are known for their long lineups, especially for the 9-5 employed human. Shit is like crack to some of these fiends so they will risk being late to work. Hence the fluctuation in tardiness, which equals jobs lost, which then equals an abundance of unemployed parents which then, of course, leads to hungry children.

Reason #2: They Staff Aliens.

Reason #3: Demon Affiliation
Horton was the Devil's Servant hence the franchise name being an homage to him. For reference, see the Bible, Matthew 4:18.

I know I've been going hard at Tim Horton's lately, I guess my range of creative bullshit hit a wall as of late. Anyway, I hope they have a counter-attack cuz this shit is mad easy.

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